The age of the entitled man must come to an end. Time and time again we ask ourselves – why women choose these low effort men over and over again? And why do they not put nearly the effort that women usually do to keep a relationship intact?

These men expect the world from you, yet offer little to nothing in return. In fact, I’d even say they take from you as most of them are energy vampires. A coin termed by many women on social media. They drain you of your femininity but expect perfection.

What I’ve realized in some relationships is that my basic needs often go unrecognized, or worse, disregarded. In my last relationship, for instance, my ex expected me to maintain a flawless appearance, be in a good mood, stay fit, and prioritize him above everything else, without considering my own needs for rest, nourishment, or self-care. Initially, things were exciting, but as we spent more time together, his lack of respect for my boundaries and well-being became clear. It felt like he was walking into my life with “dirty boots” and expecting everything to remain spotless.

At the beginning, I ignored the signs, partially due to infatuation and low self-esteem. However, after a while, the neglect started to take a toll on my health. I skipped meals because he wasn’t interested in food, and he made me feel guilty for spending time preparing meals instead of focusing entirely on him.

My physical health deteriorated—I lost weight, my skin worsened, and I was too tired to care for myself. He even criticized my need for rest after my emotionally draining days as I also worked full time in a very demanding job, and would comment negatively on my routine health check-ups.

Sadly, this wasn’t the first time I’ve encountered this pattern with men. Many seem to impose their lifestyle on women, disregarding the fact that women, like everyone else, have their own established routines, values, and ways of maintaining health and happiness.

What’s surprising is that these same men often struggle with their own health issues or personal habits, yet still expect women to adhere to unrealistic standards without reciprocating that same care.

Personally, I think that some men engage in a pattern of behavior where they cycle through relationships, often without much self-awareness or intent to manipulate. Rather than being calculated masterminds, many are simply using behaviors they’ve learned, such as expressing affection prematurely or making promises they don’t intend to keep, to get what they want. This isn’t about complex manipulation, but more about trial and error.

When a woman with strong boundaries recognizes this behavior, she often steps away quickly, leaving the man to continue his search for someone more susceptible to his tactics. In essence, these men persist until they find someone they can take advantage of, but it’s rarely as deliberate or strategic as it may seem. Understanding this dynamic can help women maintain healthy boundaries and avoid falling into exploitative relationships.

It’s troubling how common this issue is, especially in women’s discussions and online forums I frequent.

There are many reasons why women may tolerate unhealthy relationships for longer than expected, and each situation is unique. Social and religious conditioning often play a significant role.

For example, some women are raised in environments where commitment and duty are emphasized above personal happiness, particularly within religious frameworks that prioritize a woman’s role in the marriage.

I experienced this firsthand, staying in a relationship for several years because I felt bound by religious teachings that stressed commitment and responsibility to my partner.

My community reinforced these ideals, telling me that the issues I faced were minor and that I simply needed to try harder. As someone naturally inclined to people-please, I accepted this advice and believed that by doing more, I could improve the situation. It wasn’t until I began to question and dismantle this worldview that I felt empowered to make a change—and even then, it was difficult.

The bigger question remains: why do some men fail to respect that women have their own needs and agency? While compromises are part of any relationship, they should never come at the expense of someone’s health and well-being.

Partners who aren’t invested in putting in effort often move on to others who will tolerate their behavior. This cycle continues until someone finally decides that it’s time to break away and prioritize their well-being.

I also can’t help but wonder why so many women continue to endure these dynamics long-term. It’s clear that some of these men’s expectations have been validated at some point, given the frequency with which these stories arise.

Personally, I lasted only ten (embarrassingly awful and soul-sucking) months before realizing I couldn’t continue, but it’s clear that many women endure much longer, often at great personal cost.